Writing No Contact Letters

There are two kinds of no contact letters -- the short kind stating your wish for no contact, and the longer, "have your final say" type.

People usually know in an instant which kind of NC letter they'd prefer, and simply begin writing. These letters typically take care of themselves regarding actual content. Once pen is put to paper or the computer is booted up, the process goes relatively quickly for most.

Toxic people commonly lie about what NC letters contain, and wage a smear campaign with the supposed "content". If you think this may happen, you can preempt it by keeping and sharing true photocopies.

We recommend the following process*:

Photocopy your finished, signed letter 3 times. Keep one copy for yourself and give the other 2 photocopies to a couple of trusted family members, such as an honest uncle and fair-minded sister-in-law. (Having it on your computer is not strong evidence - you should photocopy what you have signed and will send.)

Only after you have given the 2 photocopies to the people you've chosen should you mail the original to the person you are stopping contact with.


Consider certifying the letter and purchasing signature confirmation for it. The post office offers this service for a very small fee. It enables you to verify on the internet the time the letter was signed for and the name of the signer, so you will have proof that it arrived and was accepted, regardless of any tales to the contrary. Doing this is especially important and helpful if you feel you may experience harassment or other forms of unwanted behavior, because your demand to be left alone is now documented evidence available for any potential future legal proceedings or meetings with authorities.
If you want to, you can make sure the addressee is the one and only person the post office will allow to sign for the letter, by purchasing "restricted delivery". The letter will not be left at the address unless it is signed for by the person you have specified - they won't be able to blame someone else at the house for signing for it and throwing it out, or for withholding it from them, etc.

Photocopying, sharing and certifying your letter also lets toxic individuals know that your intentions are serious, and it serves as excellent evidence that you made it absolutely clear they are not to contact you.


Carrying a copy of this letter in your bag or wallet, along with a copy of the receipt from the delivery signature will quickly enable any helpers, hospital staff, law enforcement, or others who don't yet understand the situation to get up to speed quickly and easily, and it will serve as clear evidence that cannot be refuted with lies and manipulations.



*People who think they may be dealing with potentially dangerous individuals should not use this information but instead consult their local law enforcement and mental health service providers for assistance.





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