The Dependent PD Parent

DPD parents are clingy and needy, and require constant reassurance and feedback from others. They fear rejection and do not function well independently.

Dependent parents present as helpless and are afraid of rejection. They request assistance with even the simplest of tasks. Their children do not feel free to have their own lives, and are always being made to feel they are desperately needed.

These parents typically ask for advice or assistance about the same small matters several times over
. This is frustrating for others, and alienates many people with whom they come into contact, because their constant demands, checking and rechecking and expressions of uncertainty are so tiresome.  

Dependent individuals have a deep fear of abandonment, and may constantly call, write or seek their children's company, even when their children have made it clear that they require more space. This can be frustrating and interfere with an adult child's need to have an independent life of their own without constant interruptions and requests for assistance.

Many people with Dependent PD live their lives through others, such as their children or their spouse, and feel uncomfortable spending reasonable amounts of time alone, which creates family dysfunction. The dependent parent's fears and insecurities prevent them from expressing themselves freely and independently, as they are deeply afraid of rejection.

Dependent parents may become distraught or even suicidal if they believe they may lose someone close to them*. They may experience jealousy or possessiveness regarding those they wish to keep close to them; however, expression of these feelings is typically at odds with their desire to be liked, and may well be suppressed. Their fear of abandonment and need for constant approval and support are overwhelming, and unfortunately, this has the effect of creating the very scenario they most fear - being avoided or rejected by others.

Children of dependent parents crave the freedom and autonomy they have not been allowed. If they live near to their parent, they may long to move farther away or to reject their parent entirely, and then experience guilt for having such thoughts. Because it is extremely difficult for these parents to change, their children are often left feeling they must either tolerate the constant unreasonable demands for reassurance or reject their parent on the whole. 


High-quality psychotherapeutic treatment can moderately improve the symptoms of DPD. Click here for more...    - 

*Suicidality and fear of abandonment can also be seen in Borderline Personality Disorder, so if your needy parent is also stormy and unpredictable, click here to consider BPD --> All About BPD


                       Not your parent? Change Tack...


                                                               Bookmark and Share
Copyright 2010. All Rights Reserved.